Why Do People Blame Others?
I believe that my life is a product of my decisions and everybody is responsible for their own decisions. So, if that’s true, why do people blame others for what’s happening in their lives?
Do You Have a Victim Mentality?
People with victim mentality are convinced that life is beyond their control. They believe that life is happening to them and that somehow all the bad things come their way. They are powerless victims unable to change anything in their lives. This belief results in their constant complaining, blaming and finger-pointing.
They are constantly complaining about other people, circumstances, and life in general. They are blaming their partners, parents, cousins, friends, co-workers, officers, neighbors and government for not having a life they deserve. When something is done wrong, they point their finger to others, because they’re never wrong.
Signs of a Victim Mentality
- They believe others are responsible for what happens in a victim’s life
- They’re constantly blaming other people or circumstances for how they feel
- They feel attacked when they’re given constructive criticism
- They’re pessimistic and feel sorry for themselves
- They’re focusing on their problems rather than solutions
- They keep thinking about past painful events that made them feel like a victim
- They feel frustrated and irritating
- Even when things go right, they find something to complain about
- They enjoy talking about their problems but refuse to consider solutions
- They feel powerless and unable to change their situation
Victims Tend to Manipulate Others
Even though a majority of “victims” do that unconsciously, their behavior involves manipulation.
Having other people feel sorry for themselves is an easy way to manipulate them.
A person who is targeted by the “victim” often feels guilty and responsible for helping the victim by doing whatever they can to stop their suffering.
Why do People Blame Others?
We all dealt with people who constantly blame others and who try to be right by making others wrong.
People who have a victim mentality blame other people and circumstances for their unhappy life. They often do that either to gain attention or avoid self-responsibility.
If other people are always responsible, a victim does not have to take responsibility for any of his/her behavior. Also, by blaming others victim avoid uncomfortable emotions like guilt or anger. And by practicing a victim mentality, it becomes a habit meaning victims don’t need any conscious effort for their habitual behavior. And habits are difficult to break, especially when they provide justification for something they do.
Dealing with Victims
The truth is that victims don’t want to solve their problems, because that would undermine their sense of being victimized. Therefore, trying to give them advice won’t have any effect. It will just drain your energy out. Victims confuse pity with love, so when they talk about their problems, they don’t seek advice or solution. What they really want is your attention and evidence that you care.
You can offer them your help, but very soon you will realize that you’re wasting your time. You better distance yourself if you don’t want other people drama and other people problems to become your problems.
Are You a Victim or a Creator of Your Life?
Victims blame other people and circumstances (lack of money, knowledge or skills) for feeling miserable. They perceive that to be obstacles, that completely paralyzes them, while creators use these circumstances as a driving force for creating a better life.
So, would you rather be a victim or a creator of your life? You choose, but you cannot be both.
It’s easier to blame others than to take responsibility for your life. It’s easier to complain about life than to take the necessary steps to change what you don’t like in your life. Yes, it takes some effort to change your mindset and that’s why most people choose to stay in their victim mindset.
You choose your mental and emotional state. Happiness is a choice and it is an inside job. It is not dependent on the external circumstances. External circumstances are always neutral, you choose how you feel about them and what you do about them. You have a choice, and since you have a choice, you are not a victim!
We are 100% responsible for our lives. There are no other people when it comes to responsibility. Nobody is doing anything to us. We are the ones who attract people into our lives and we are the ones who allow them to behave the certain way.
If you have a conflict with another person, that person is not responsible for how you feel. There’s no split responsibility either because you’re not 50% responsible. You’re 100% responsible for what you feel, and another person is 100% responsible for what she/he feels.
Blaming doesn’t serve anyone, and it doesn’t solve any problem. By blaming other people for what is happening in your life, you’re giving your power away. Now, these people have power over you and there’s no power left for you to change your unwanted situation.
So instead of blaming another person for what’s happening in your life, take your power back and change what needs to be changed.
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Thanks for reading!