Should You Care What Other People Think?

Whether we ask for it or not, we often get someone’s opinion about should we do something or not. But really, should you care what other people think about you or your deeds?

Opinion is Just an Opinion, Not a Fact

An opinion is a personal expression of someone’s thoughts that may or may not be true. What is true for somebody, it doesn’t have to be true for somebody else.

People base their opinion on their beliefs and perceptions, and they experience what they believe. So, if somebody tells you that you should or shouldn’t do something, based on their past experience, you shouldn’t blindly follow that advice. Do what you feel is right for you instead.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”

                                                                                  – Marcus Aurelius

When Do We Ask for an Opinion?

There are many situations where we tend to ask others for an opinion or advice. It might be in a relation to our family members, career change, new relationship, health, or different everyday situations.

When We Know What to Do

We know what to doWhen we know what to do, we ask for an opinion because we want to get confirmation that what we do, or we are going to do is a right thing to do. So, when we get that confirmation, we feel good, we feel more positive and secure about our decision to do what we’ve already decided to do.

But what happened if we don’t get that confirmation? We start to feel less good and less secure about our decision, and we might even start doubt our decision if we are not 100% sure that what we are doing is right.

So, what’s the point in asking for an opinion when we’ve already made a decision?

When We Don’t Know What to Do

Sometimes there are situations where we don’t know what to do. It might be because we are not informed enough, or we have a wrong information, or we don’t know where to start. In that case, it’s a good idea to ask for advice, but don’t take any advice.

The best advice is taken from the person who has already achieved that what you want to achieve. That way you will get confirmation that it is doable and information on how it can be done.

When We’re in Doubt

When we’re in doubt whether we should do something or not, or whether we should do one thing or another, we tend to ask other people for an opinion, but often secretly hope for a particular answer.

doubtNow, if you ask for an opinion your friends, parents or siblings who have never achieved that what you want to achieve, you might be disappointed. It’s not that they don’t want you to succeed, it’s just they don’t believe it’s possible and the same way they don’t believe it’s possible for them, they won’t believe it’s possible for you.

But if you ask for advice somebody who has already achieved that what you want to achieve or who has already achieved even more than that, you will get an information that will remove your doubt about what is doable, because if that person achieved something, he/she will tell you that you can achieve it too.

When you get all the relevant information and still in doubt, throw a coin in the air and instead of checking which side is showing when it lends, notice which side you wish for before the coin lands, and go for that option.

Should You Share Your Ideas with Other People?

Recently I got involved in a conversation with 2 very smart and talented 14 years old girls. They both already know that they will go to college. They have a belief that education is the most important ingredient when it comes to success. That doesn’t have to be necessarily true, but that’s their belief and it serves them because it will help them to get the education they want.

They already have an opinion about what’s the most secure, most profitable or most wanted profession. That opinion is based on what they’ve heard from their parents and society, and in my opinion, it’s very old-fashioned.

I told them that they can achieve whatever they want as long as they believe they can and that they should think about studying something they love, and they’re interested in, no matter how unreal that may sound.

One of them was very creative and she immediately started sharing her ideas and merging many of her talents into a perfect vocation, but the other one interrupted her and said – Come on, get real!

girls talkingSo, one girl is creative and wants to do something with her life, and the other one is realistic and doesn’t believe that’s possible. They are best friends, and if the first one accepted her best friend’s opinion, how far would she go, what do you think?

It’s not that she doesn’t want her best friend to succeed, it’s just she doesn’t believe it’s possible or maybe she is afraid that she would lose her best friend if she takes a different direction.

Well, I hope they will both follow their dreams and support each other along the way.

So, what can we learn from this example?

Don’t share your ideas with people who are not likely to support you and share your ideas with people who support you, because their energy and belief in you, added to your energy and belief, will accelerate your success.

Why Some People Always Have an Opinion?

There are different reasons why people offer their opinion. Sometimes it’s because they have an information and they want to share it, or they have experienced a similar situation and they think they could help, or they think their opinion is relevant or they consider themselves smarter than you.

There are also people who have a solution for every problem, except for their own problems. Yes, sometimes it’s easier to see the solution for other people’s problems but be careful when taking advice from those people.

People Will Always Have Something to Say

bla blaWhen it comes to people who always have something to say about others, you shouldn’t care about their opinion of you, because what they say is telling you about who they are, not who you are.

People who always gossip and judge other people are doing so because they are not happy with themselves, otherwise they would be focused on their own life. They find it easier to deal with other people’s lives than to cope with their own life.

So, don’t let their opinion to stop you in doing what you feel is right for you. Just ignore them and they will disappear from your experience.

Should You Care What Other People Think?

First and foremost, you should care what you think! If it feels right, do it, and if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it.

If somebody offers you an opinion, you can take it or reject it, just make sure that you don’t base your decision on other people’s past experiences and beliefs, except they’ve already succeeded in that what you want to succeed.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave them in the comment box below and I’ll be back to you as soon as possible.

Thank you!

8 comments

  1. Boy, have you hit upon a good subject! When I was younger, I worried about what other people thought, because I wanted to be liked. As I grew older, I found that trying to follow all the divergent suggestions people had about how I should act were not helping; they were just confusing me. I really liked your suggestion that you find someone who has already succeeded at what you want to do, and ask them for advice. How much more valuable than asking just anybody, just because you are friends! And, yes, you should care what you think and learn to trust your own judgment. Good on ya — keep up the good writing!

    1. Hi Fran,

      Thanks for the comment. Many people worry about what other people think because they want to be liked. I used to care what they think until I learned that only when you’re true to yourself, you can be free from other people’s opinion. And only when you start to value your own opinion more than somebody else’s opinion, you will be free to create a life that you want. All the best!

  2. This is a very interesting article. I totally agree everyone has their own opinion and perspective. It doesn’t mean that it’s a universal law, it’s just how they feel based on their experiences and how they see the world. I have recently come to understand this after letting go of religion.

    Everyone thinks their own religion is just the truth of life. They spend their whole life trying to convert others to their own beliefs and shaming them if they don’t believe.

    It can be a headache. The best thing to do is to just let everyone be free and believe what they want.

    This is not to say that rules and regulations should be thrown out of the window. Not everyone likes rules but they make life more stable.

    I guess its a sticky situation because what if everyone wanted to create their own rules based off of what they believed? It would be crazy.

    1. Hi Kyrielle,

      Thanks for your comment. Yes, people base their opinion on their beliefs and perceptions, and we should be aware of that any time someone offers their opinion. The same way, we should be aware when giving our opinion which is based on our beliefs and perceptions and is not necessarily true or good for another person. Cheers!

  3. You are exactly right from my point of view. We need to give our children positive feedback for their future expectations – as they mature they will see if what they hope for is attainable in their field of study. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Hi Penny,

      Thanks for commenting on the post. I agree we shouldn’t impose our limitations to our children. We should support and encourage them in their endeavors. This is the only way to see them happy and fulfilled. Cheers!

  4. Hello Blanka. This is a good read.
    I always care and mind how people think. But as I grew older, I think less of it. Why should I waste energy pondering in your opinion? Do they help change my life for the better? I guess you have the answer.
    And what you said is very true – share our ideas with those who support us. We need positive people around us.
    I do like your article.

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