I often hear people blaming their partners, children, or friends for not spending with them as much time as they used to before. If you’re one of them, read carefully because this one sentence may open your eyes and help you change your perspective.
Make me feel good and I will stay. – Yes, it’s that simple.
Here, in this article, I’ll explain the possible reasons for why certain people have stopped spending their precious time with you and how you can change this situation just by changing your attitude.
People Will Go Where They Feel Good
People like positive people who appreciate, support and compliment them and always have a kind word for them.
Nobody likes blamers, haters, complainers and control freaks.
Would you go to the place where people constantly blame you, judge you, try to control you or humiliate you? No, you wouldn’t! It just doesn’t feel good. So, if somebody is avoiding you, think about this.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou
Victim Mentality Drives People Away
If you think that with playing a “victim” role you will make people come and stay, you better change your approach because victim mentality drives people away. Instead, find a way to make people feel good and they will stay around you.
Your Partner is More Absent than Present
Your partner is spending less and less time at home. He/she engages in different social activities, hangs out with friends and co-workers and often comes home late.
You’re now pissed. You’re complaining because you have to do all the housework and spend weekends alone, you’re blaming him/her for avoiding you and for not loving you anymore… you’re playing a blame game! You want him/her to feel guilty. But guilt doesn’t feel good…
So, what do you think? Will he/she stay around, or go somewhere where it feels better? Often, they just think “Make me feel good and I will stay”.
So, instead of trying to control your partner, make him/her feel good and he/she will spend more time with you. When you feel good, you don’t have a need or desire to go somewhere else.
Your Children Don’t Visit You and Help You as Much as You Wish
They might have different reasons for that, but if you keep complaining about life, judging other people, controlling the lives of your children and blaming them for not coming as often as you wish, don’t be surprised if they stop coming at all. If your life is your priority, accept that their life could be their priority.
Even if they start coming more often, they won’t come because they want to but because they feel an obligation. And the obligation doesn’t feel good.
So, if you could be positive, let go of control and show support and gratitude, they will come more often, and what is more important, they will come because they want to.
Your Friends Avoid You
Are you judging? Are you gossiping? Are you blaming other people for your situation? Are you always complaining about life? Are you jealous? Do you listen to other people or just talk about yourself? Do you respect other people? Do you accept other’s opinion? Are you honest and trustworthy? Can other people rely on you? Are you hanging around your friends only when you need them to do something for you? Are you generally negative?
Maybe you’re a nice person but feel resentment under the surface. People can pick that up, so make sure that you discuss that what needs to be discussed.
Be positive, show respect and support and the right people will stay around you.
If None of the Above Applies to You
So, certain people started to avoid you, but you’re not the one who is always complaining, blaming other people, or trying to control them. Furthermore, you are a cheerful and happy person with a positive attitude.
In that case, you’re probably dealing with people whose energy is totally different from yours and who can’t stand your positive attitude and happiness. Because of their low vibration, they don’t feel comfortable around you anymore, so they rather avoid you. But those are not people that you want to hang around with anyway…
This usually happens after people start “working” on themselves and raising their vibration. Certain people then naturally fall off and new ones come into their life but let me leave that for one of my next posts.
Make Me Feel Good!
If you want to spend more time with your partner, child or friend, instead of blaming them for not spending time with you, tell them how great they are and how happy and grateful you are for having them in your life. Imagine them saying “Make me feel good” and do what your heart is telling you.
Your intention carries an energy, so don’t try to please him/her just for the sake of keeping them around you but because you want them to feel good.
Your words also carry the energy, so choose positive words because they feel good.
People will go where they feel good, so make them feel good and they will stay.
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave them below and I’ll be back to you as soon as I can.
Thank you for reading!