All Men or Women are the Same! Are They?

There are people who argue that all men or all women are the same. They usually talk like this after they were hurt, left, cheated or disappointed in some other way. Are you the one who thinks this way?

So, are they really the same?

No way, no one is the same as the other. There are people that have the same behavior pattern, and there is a reason why you keep attracting that type of people.

So, what is it all about?

How Your Partner Should Look, Act or Behave?

Many people have their own opinion about how they and others should look, act or behave, but they usually forget that that is just their opinion, not a fact. We think that our partner should look, act or behave in a certain way, but we often forget that we made up those rules.

So, if our partner’s behavior is not in a line with our set of rules, we start thinking that they take us for granted, they don’t love us anymore, they don’t respect us or sometimes we even think they want to hurt us…

Why are You Disappointed?

argument, disappointedThe first thing to bear in mind is that every person is different from the other and every person has their own “set of rules” about people and relationships. No one is right because these rules are not facts. They are just our opinions. They are something we made up or picked up from other people.

If we expect our partners to behave according to our “rules” just because we think these rules are generally accepted, we will end up disappointed.

Why does the Same Type of Men/Women Keep Coming Your Way When You Want Something Different?

Why is this always happening to me? If you keep asking yourself this question, you should know that nothing is happening to you, you attract people according to your subconscious beliefs.

We don’t attract what we want, we attract what we believe. Most of our beliefs are formed when we were very young. They were imprinted in our subconscious mind before the age of six while we observed our parents and people around us. We still have those beliefs unless we have changed them.

So, if, for example, your parents didn’t respect each other, you will most likely attract a partner that won’t respect you or maybe you’ll be the one who won’t have respect for your partner.

If your parents or caregivers were too critical or too protective, you might develop low self-esteem, and it’s likely that you will also keep attracting partners who will not respect you.

If your parents were cheated each other, you might attract a partner who will cheat you or you might be the one who will cheat.

If you couldn’t trust your family or your parents told you that you couldn’t trust people, you may hold a worthy of lovebelief that you cannot trust people and you will probably attract a partner that will justify your belief.

If you didn’t get enough love, even if you think you accepted that, you will carry that energy and will attract a partner who will make you feel unlovable.

You have to recognize that there is the pattern you keep attracting, so you can stop creating the same experience.

What Can You Do About It?

  • Be aware of your expectations

We can’t change something unless we are aware of it. Ask yourself what your expectations are and write them down. Then ask yourself why do you have those expectations. Do you have them just because you think that’s the way people should behave in a relationship or it has some meaning for you? Are you expressing who you really want to be or you are expressing the program that you were given when you were young?

  • Be aware of your feelings

How do you feel? Is there the same feeling every time your expectations are not met? Are you constantly bound to the same type of emotion? Researchers show that we are kind of addicted to our emotions and tend to attract the same circumstances to justify our addiction. When we do repeatedly something that hurts us, it is because it gives us an immediate emotional reward.

We have to recognize our feelings toward others for what they are and not for what our conditioning has made them out to be.

  • Communicate, communicate, communicate!

As you probably know, communication is the most important thing in every relationship. Nobody can read your mind, so if you don’t communicate your wishes, desires, feelings, beliefs, and plans to your partner, you can’t expect of them to please you. Also, you might want to please your partner so ask them about their wishes, desires, and expectations.

  • Focus on good things

We always get what we believe is true and what we focus our attention on. If you believe that all men/women are the same, you will probably attract people that will prove you that you’re right. If you are obsessing about the way things have been or could have been then energetically you’re still holding that in your life. Focus on good things and you will attract more of good. We always bring to ourselves situations that meet our beliefs.

  • Don’t believe what your mind tells you

Don’t believe what your mind tells you because it tends to think according to our past beliefs and experiences and it always has a need to make you right, rather than happy. When we use our mind, we predict future outcomes using calculations.

  • Trust your heart

heartDon’t estimate the power of your heart. It is much more powerful than your mind. The heart doesn’t do calculations, it reads energy and wants you to be happy.

If you have to make a decision, think about it but when it comes to the final choice, go down to your heart and ask, which one of two choices feels better? Go with the one that feels better in your heart.

Conclusion

We are all different in the way we perceive relationships. We perceive them according to our beliefs. It is not that all men or all women are the same, it is that you attract the same type of partner because you’re the same. Once you become aware of that, you will be able to learn, grow and create a new reality that will resonate with who you have become.

If you have any questions or would like to share your opinion or experience, feel free to leave a comment below…

8 comments

  1. Hi, Blanka,

    You made me think about what determines our relationships as grown-up people!

    I haven’t thought of the fact everything happens in the first few years of our life. I liked very much the advice we have to communicate with our partner to solve the problems.

    It sounds so straightforward, but same time so many people struggle with this. Don’t you think so?

    1. I think lack of communication in a relationship is a big problem. We tend to think that our partners should know what we want and we often forget that they might have different beliefs, wishes, and desires.
      When not satisfied in a relationship, many people tend to either hide their dissatisfaction or they complain to their friends, instead of communicating the problem with their partner, who is the only one who can help them to solve the problem. Thanks for the comment. Cheers!

  2. I really like how you put our expectations of relationships into a whole new perspective. We expect things out of our partner because of past experiences from our childhood. We choose who we wind up because of past experiences. We decide what is right or wrong because of relationships in our life without much consideration of others. You are right these are all just opinions. Communication is key, we have to express what we need from each other so you can fulfill each other’s needs. I thank you and I am going to take your advice.

  3. I recently learned that how we perceive relationships dates back to when we were young and observed our parents. Fortunately I’m still single and have the time to work on myself and to understand these principles

    1. That’s a good point William! If everybody would understand this and work on themselves before getting into a relationship, we would all live heaven on earth.

  4. Hello Blanka,
    Great article about a subject that I really had not thought much about until recently. A good friend of mine was in a bad relationship and after he got out of it, he did not blame her or himself. After a couple of years, he started seeing a Lady who was the complete opposite of his ex and is now one of the happiest guys I know. Reading your article has helped me to see just how seriously he takes his new life and increases my respect for him. Thanks for helping me to see and understand just a little of what he went thru.
    Sanders

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